Marriage Minute - Free Tips From The Gottman Institute

Gottman Institute's tip of tuning into your partner's bids for attention

April 10, 2020

To tune, to know your partner’s preferred bid delivery method and to make bids for your partner’s attention It will deepen your friendship, allow you to use conflict as a catalyst for closeness, and enhance the romance in your marriage.

Bids can be nonverbal, too. According to John Gottman, nonverbal bids include: 

  • Affectionate touching, such as a pat on the back, a handshake, a squeeze, a kiss, a hug, or a back or shoulder rub. 
  • Facial expressions, such as a smile, blowing a kiss, trying to make eye contact, or sticking out your tongue. 
  • Playful touching, such as tickling, wrestling, dancing, or a gentle bump or shove. 
  • Affiliating gestures, such as opening a door, offering a place to sit, handing over a utensil, or pointing to a shared activity or interest. 
  • Vocalizing, such as laughing, chuckling, grunting, sighing, or groaning in a way that invites interaction or interest. 

When all else fails, you can also try looming in the doorway until your partner notices.

Try to tune into bids today and see what you notice. Subscribe for more details Marriage Minutes as its of free!!!


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